Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
