Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
