Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You smell like stripper and shame
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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