New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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