It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
