You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
