after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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