But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
