You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
