I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
