Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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