i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
