Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And then he peed in my hair
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
