If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
