i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
