Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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