pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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