She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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