Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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