Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
