I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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