Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
