Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
