Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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