i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
