This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
