I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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