Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
