Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
