so that wasnt chicken after all
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
