no, he came in my armpit
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize