bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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