Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
