i just google imaged poop.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
