I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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