im six kinds of drunk right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
