Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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