I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
