you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
