Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize