Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
