I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize