Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
