my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
