Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
