Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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