I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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