and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
