I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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