so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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