He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
