Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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