Your face is a jimmy john
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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